Santa’s Last Gift

I crept down the stairs on Christmas morn,

The day we celebrate that Christ was born,

With trees and lights and wrapping galore.

With gifts and carols and so much more.


All brought to us by a man in a sleigh,

Deliveries made in one single day.

So I was excited at what might be

Waiting for me under the Christmas tree.


But you will never believe at what I found

But Santa’s big butt so jolly and round

Stuck in my chimney his feet were flailing

Cries of help up the chimney were wailing.


I wanted to help but what could I do?

Should I push, do I pull or open the flue?

But as I looked, I giggled, then hooted.

Then to make matters worse, Santa, he tooted!


I laughed so hard I fell to the floor

Laughing and giggling for a moment more,

That is when I was hit by Santa’s plume

As lactose induced gas filled up the room.


My eyes watered as my family filed in

Staring at me, where do I begin

I cried out it was Santa who farted

One final gift before he departed.


But I can see on their face how they feel

Not one of them believes Santa is real.

So now its tradition on Christmas Day

For them to give me air freshening spray.

Author: matthewlasley

I am a school teacher and an author. I like to write picture books, middle grade, science fiction and short stories. I live in Alaska and I love history, so those two things often influence my creative writing.

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