I crept down the stairs on Christmas morn,
The day we celebrate that Christ was born,
With trees and lights and wrapping galore.
With gifts and carols and so much more.
All brought to us by a man in a sleigh,
Deliveries made in one single day.
So I was excited at what might be
Waiting for me under the Christmas tree.
But you will never believe at what I found
But Santa’s big butt so jolly and round
Stuck in my chimney his feet were flailing
Cries of help up the chimney were wailing.
I wanted to help but what could I do?
Should I push, do I pull or open the flue?
But as I looked, I giggled, then hooted.
Then to make matters worse, Santa, he tooted!
I laughed so hard I fell to the floor
Laughing and giggling for a moment more,
That is when I was hit by Santa’s plume
As lactose induced gas filled up the room.
My eyes watered as my family filed in
Staring at me, where do I begin
I cried out it was Santa who farted
One final gift before he departed.
But I can see on their face how they feel
Not one of them believes Santa is real.
So now its tradition on Christmas Day
For them to give me air freshening spray.